Covenant Hearts by Bruce C Hafen

Having read this book has not really changed my mind concerning much, but has more reinforced what I already believed. As a reinforcement, I believe that it has changed the amount of desire that I have to do what I know to be correct and true. The world is a harsh place that doesn’t value true family relationships and I found it strengthening to find it put in words the feelings that I have felt for some time. The one major thing that did change in my opinion is what I thought of as the state of the natural man. I will discuss both of these issues in my paper and hope that you will come to the same conclusions that I came to. Seeing as how the state of the natural man will back up what is reinforced I will talk about that first.

“For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticing of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord,” (Mosiah 3:19). This scripture is a fundamental belief that I have held throughout my life. I have studied philosophy and history which have backed it up. “The life of man, solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short,” (The Leviathan by Thomas Hobbs). These ideas and philosophies have led me to believe that we are naturally evil and thus cannot and do not desire anything really good.

But this is completely contrary to my “natural” feelings. I have often felt for and longed for stable relationship. The search for love, I guess you could call it, a place to call home. I naturally want and desire for a family, how then does this work with what is presented in scripture and modern philosophy? A little while back in class we talked about this scripture in Mosiah and compared it to a quote by Brigham Young, “We are the natural sons and daughters of our natural parents, and spiritually we are the natural children of the Father of light and natural heirs to his kingdom; and when we do an evil, we do it in opposition to the promptings of the Spirit of Truth that is within us. Man, the noblest work of God, was in his creation designed for an endless duration, for which the love of all good was incorporated in his nature. It was never designed that he should naturally do and love evil” (in Journal of Discourses, 9:305). This was my first step into what I would call further truth and light.

How I understand it is as follows. The natural state of our physical being is one that is characteristically flawed, and as such often attempts to persuade our other part of self to succumb to the will of the world. That other part is our spiritual being, and it by nature is an advocate of the Father, having dwelt in his presence for close to one hundred percent of Eternity that we have currently lived through. As such it is a constant struggle between an age old being and a young and carefree existence. The natural man is an enemy to God, but the natural son or daughter is an advocate of the Father. With this in mind it helps to explain the feelings that we have that seem to contradict what I have previously taken as truth.

Because of our inner spirit and its immense power of sway that it holds through emotion and heart, the yearnings of love and family are actually quite natural. They are what the Father would desire and so what our spirits would desire. At the same time our physical selves seek to satisfy this yearning for love and acceptance through personal gratification, in whatever form that may take. It is selfish while the spirit in seeking for completion is charitable. “Charity, suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Our natural spirits are charitable and unselfish while our natural bodies are selfish and seek the now.

All of this in a way leads to the other aspect that I already knew to be true but which was reinforced by the book. Again as above there is no real spot in the book that can adequately describe what I search to say, but it is the spirit of the entirety of the book that has taught me these simple truths. I will describe them in a way that I feel them to be best applicable.

Marriage has always been a bit of a mystery to me. There have not been many marriages that I have seen in my life, none that have been real examples to me of what it is that I feel needs to happen in a marriage. Those major ones that have been part of my life have often fallen woefully short of expectations that I have felt need to be part of it. For example my parents marriage ended when I was still a little boy, about 12ish. My mom got remarried and that only lasted for about 4 or 5 months before it was over. She has remarried again and this time it is working out but only after a rough and rocky start. It has been a great opportunity for me to watch and observe, to see and to conclude what I feel a marriage should really be about.

One of the major things that I have seen is all the lovey dovey courtship that occurs during premarital relationships seems to fade off and disappear with the onset of married life. This I believe is wrong, with the onset of life it should in a way increase. There should now, after those covenants have been made, be an increase in expressions of love. The fighting and anger should never be allowed in the home. Keep the “wolves” at the door. They do not belong in the house and should not be invited into our lives. There are times for discussion and opportunities for expression of opinion, but more importantly there should be expression of love and charitable action. When entered into a covenant that nobody is forcing you to enter, you quite literally do so of your own free will. Because of this choice that you have made you should continue in the expression of that love that got you to that point. There is no need to stop telling your significant other that you love them. Continue to surprise them with small things including gifts and acts of service. Don’t look for opportunities to get away as you use to look for opportunities to spend time together. You have made a covenant of marriage that you will spend all time, that means now, and eternity, that means tomorrow, together. If you don’t then your breaking you covenant with your spouse and with God. It has in reality been a contractual marriage, and such marriages cannot be sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise and thus you cannot inherit the highest degree of the Celestial Kingdom, Exaltation.

One thing that I touched on earlier in talking about this is the lack of place for anger in your home. A wolf that I guess in all reality should not even make it to the door, let alone in it. Why would anybody want to fight or argue with someone who they have pledged every practical of their being to for all time and eternity? This is someone who you love and cherish and any amount of raising the voice or verbal and physical abuse is completely inappropriate. If you justify yourself in saying “well we only argue on occasion,” just think about God, I’m sure he doesn’t argue with his wife on occasion. I’m sure it never happens. He says in Jacob 2: 7, 9 through his prophet that our wives and children have “feeling (that) are exceedingly tender and chaste and delicate before God… (who) instead of feasting upon the pleasing work of God have daggers placed to pierce their souls and wound their delicate minds.”

Let us be sure that we are not the placers of daggers. Do not follow the nature of the physical self but follow the spiritual and we shall have the strength that we need to be obedient to the commandments of our Father. By so doing we remove the “wolves” from our homes and in their stead leave room for charitable acts of love and the Holy Spirit of Promise.